So who exactly is creating that mindful spice that turns the everyday act of making babies into lust and passion-filled fantasies fulfilled?  It’s the real YOU! Or what you might call Spirit, or simply put, the awareness part of you. The reality is, it’s what we choose to make sexy that is really sexy.

I’ll never forget my very first swing party about 10 years ago with my then wife at the then infamous Le Trapeze in New York City. I remember feeling that I had finally found my home -- a place where I could feel natural and more fully accepted within a community where sexuality was celebrated. To find a “family” that shares your values and concepts of sexuality is a core desire of everyone who is committed to living his or her life in the pursuit of sexual exploration and freedom.

From that point forward I was committed to never again compromising or apologizing for my overactive libido or my desire for new experiences of eroticism and kink. Unfortunately, my wife did not share the same point of view. For the next five years we compromised, with neither of us being totally happy, and finally divorced after fulfilling our successful careers as a ballroom dance team.

The Path Is Pleasure

We live in a culture ingrained with religious beliefs that range from ignoring sex as a pleasure-driven activity to the notion of sexual pleasure being a sure ticket to hell. Basically, the negation of the body is seen as necessary for spiritual development. On the other side of the globe, early Eastern religions, particularly in China and India as we know through preserved writings, have provided for the expression of our sexual nature as a vital and necessary step toward spiritual enlightenment.

Spirituality in these eastern religions and cultures does not include a concept of a heaven or hell awaiting us when we die, determined by whether we were good or bad boys and girls during our lifetime. It is based on the concept that heaven and hell are what we experience right here and now, as determined by our self-knowledge and wisdom or lack of it. The attainment of enlightenment or spiritual wisdom in our lifetimes is the goal. You need to have a body to attain that goal and because that body includes a cock or a pussy that naturally pulsates with sexual energy, eroticism needs to be incorporated in the picture.

Swinging and exploring the full range of our sexuality through bringing our erotic fantasies to life can be purely and simply a pleasurable experience, or it can be another step toward spiritual freedom... which can also include pleasure. It all comes down to the intention we bring to the table when we go to our next sex party... which actually changes each time we go.

As the English poet William Blake says: “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”

So the idea of sex and spirit begins with a choice -- the choice we make to enjoy our sexuality with an intention to connect with a greater truth about who we are and what our true purpose might be. One way to embark on this route is to make ourselves available to that experience through love, because as human beings we naturally move and open ourselves to learn new things when love is present. Another way is to connect genuinely with another person in such a way that we begin to see the miracle that life is, in another being. As a dedicated hedonistic pursuer of human pleasures, I have found my experiences more meaningful and less empty when I have added love and connection to my sex toys. In another article I’ll share more with you but in the meantime, give love a try. You might find it a hot turn on in your next erotic encounter.